First Contact: Are you a Peach or a Coconut?

First Contact: Are you a Peach or a Coconut?

This time, I’ll be sharing a few thoughts with you on the theme of cross-cultural communication…and I’ll begin with the following question: Are you a Peach or a Coconut?

If you’re unable to answer that question, or, indeed, have no idea what I’m talking about, fear not! I will come back to this concept shortly. But to start our journey there, I’d like to turn your attention to an important part of doing business successfully – meeting somebody for the first time.

People often say that the first contact may either make or break a relationship. While I don’t fully agree with that, I believe it is true that the first contact we have with a person does have a major impact on the way we see them, and how we respond to and interact with them. Of course, our opinions and attitudes may change but that first contact goes a long way to shaping that relationship. So, obviously, it’s important that the first content goes well…but this is not always the case.

Perhaps the person you are meeting bombards you with so many questions that you feel like retreating into a protective shell, or maybe the responses you get to your questions are little more than “Yes… No … Perhaps…” I’m sure you’ve been in a situation where the conversation was a little awkward, and I hope you managed to find a way of communicating with more efficiency.

So why can we react so differently when meeting a stranger for the first time? And what has that got to do with fruit?The expert in intercultural communication, Susanne M. Zaninelli, came up with the idea of putting people into these two broad “fruit categories”.

The “Peach” is a person who finds it easy to speak and socialize. They are comfortable talking about either business or their private life and may appear to be full of energy. The “Coconut”, on the other hand, tends to be more withdrawn or private. They may be harder to get to know at first… but could be more reliable and less superficial than the Peach.

Should you be interested, this concept is also mentioned in Bob Dignen’s excellent book “Communicating Across Cultures”.

First Contact: Are you a Peach or a Coconut?

Now, if you were to ask yourself which one are you, you would probably say a combination of the two or it depends on the context. As a rule, I'm more of a Peach, but I can also be quite distant or closed, depending on the environment.

So what can this concept teach us?

First of all, it can explain why some first contacts go badly. The peach may find the Coconut rude and dull while the Coconut could find the Peach rude and invasive! Not a good way to build a business relationship.

Secondly, it should allow us to see that not everybody thinks as we do, nor do they behave as we do… or as we would like them to!

Which leads to the third and find point of “Be alert!” If you are more of a Peach, it’s probably a good idea to watch carefully to see if your correspondent is a Coconut. And if so, slow down, ask fewer questions, give more space, and listen more. And if you are a Coconut, remember that your correspondent is not necessarily unpleasant, just naturally enthusiastic. So why not try to find a subject that you both find interesting to talk about.

Furthermore, I would like to come back to my regular ANVE acronym. If you have the impression that something is not going according to plan, during your first contact, rather than press on regardless, Assume Nothing… Validate Everything. In other words, check that your correspondent has understood both your message and your intentions.

And bear in mind that you don’t want to spend the next meeting fixing the mistakes caused by a misunderstanding during the first! There are far more important things to do with your time and energy after all…

EnglishWaves.fr - The french radio station that speaks English!

EnglishWaves.fr - The french radio station that speaks English!

The french radio station that speaks English!

http://www.englishwaves.fr/podcast-9981-first-contactare-you-a-peach-or-a-coconut.html

susanne m. zaninelli